By Justin Grimbol
Jason started watching horror movies when he was young. When most kids were watching ET he was watching ALIEN and predator.
“I didn’t like ET,” he once told me. “It’s creepy.”
“But you watched alien and it didn’t bother you.”
“It did. I mean, I was five years old when I saw that movie. But I didn’t bother me in the same way as ET. ALIEN was supposed to be creepy. ET was supposed to be cute. Something about that bothered me.”
The only thing Jason loved more than horror movies were their covers. He could spend hours wandering around the horror section of the video store staring at the covers of all the movies they had. He also loved the painting on the covers of his mother’s Stephen king books. His favorite being the cover of IT.
“I love how it’s just a crazed hand coming out of the sewer and that’s it. It’s so subtle.” IT is one of my favorite novels and every time he pulls it off my book shelf he says this to me. It’s as if he is paying homage.
Jason’s a painter now. He’s getting his masters in fine art in Indiana. The covers of horror movies are still a major influence for Jason. He is also inspired by old painters, like Caravaggio. His hope is to combine the two styles.
What I love most about his work is that he uses himself as a model. In many ways his work is autobiographical. Jason grew up on Shelter Island New York. I have also spent time living there. We both consider the town to be an awful and very mean spirited place. We refer to it as Devils Island. When he started working on a painting based on HP Lovecraft Shadows Over Innsmouth, he used him and I as the models and used a picture from Shelter Island as the back drop. The painting was beautiful. We didn’t look anything like the narrator of Lovecrafts story and the monster looks nothing like Dagon. Still, Gorcoff has such an intimate relationship to the subject matter and he captures the spirit of the thing perfectly.

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By Justin Grimbol
This is a list of movies that are just a little too cheesy to be scary. But they’re good flicks and if you watch them late at night, when you’re deliriously tired, they will scare the hell out of you. I mean, they will make your grown-ass hide under the blankets and suck your thumb. They can be that scary. You just have to be really out-of-it when you watch them.

THE HOWLING
The first time I saw this movie I was thirteen. It was three in the morning. By the time I was done watching this movie I was scared shitless. I couldn’t get those gangly, ghoulish, sweaty ass werewolves out of my mind. Even though the sun had already started to rise, I was still creeped out. I had to watch The Wedding Singer to calm myself down and feel innocent again; to get those werewolves from off my mind.
The next weekend I had a sleep over. I rented the Howling again and showed it to my buddies. They hated it. “This is the cheesiest pieces of shit I have ever seen,” my buddy Sean told me.
And he was right. I couldn’t believe how cheesy it is. Part of me couldn’t even believe it was the same movie. It was as if I was watching some cheesy parody of the movie I had watched the weekend before.
I couldn’t understand why only a week earlier I had gotten so scared.

DEAD END
When I saw this one I hadn’t slept in a couple of days and I was stoned. It’s about a family that are stuck driving down a never ending road. This movie had me so scared that we almost couldn’t finish the movie. “I can’t stand it!” I kept yelling holding while shaking her. “This movie is warped. I don’t know if I can take much more.” My girlfriend liked how scared I had gotten. She thought it was fun to see me so freaked out. So I finished the movie.
A couple years later my girlfriend and I moved to Astoria Oregon. I worked at a drug rehab. I would hand out meds and act as a sort of dorm supervisor. One night a group of clients were trying to watch a movie that was scary. They had spent the afternoon searching through Netflix, trying to find something in the instant watch selection. I recommended they watch Dead End. I told them it was the most terrifying movie I had ever seen. The clients liked me and took my advice. I turned the movie on for them then I went back to finish some paper work. I was half way into a pile of med orders when I heard them laughing. They spent most of the movie laughing hysterically.
“You were joking when you said that movie was scary, right Grimbol?” one of the clients asked me when they were done with the movie.
“Yeah, sure…” I said. I was embarrassed. I should have watched the movie in the day light before I decided it the scariest movie I have ever seen.

LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM.
This movie is about sleazy, vampire-like snake worshippers. It a creepy movie but even when I was thirteen I didn’t find it to be very scary. I blame this on watching it too early in the evening.
Luckily there was a shit ton of nudity in this flick, so I watched it again really late at night when my parents were sound asleep, and I could do my business. This time it was late at night and I was tired. The movie was terrifying. I got so scared I forgot to jerk off during the nudy scenes.

ED THE HAPPY CLOWN.
By Chester Brown
This is by far the strangest and most hilarious comics I have ever read. There are vampires and cannibalistic pigmy’s, and Martians. The most bizarre part of the story is when the young protagonist, Ed, gets the tip of his penis replaced with the head of a miniature Ronald Regan. The two don’t get along. Ronald Regan is cranky and occasionally bites him. This story really leaves an impression on you. Ever since I read this, I have looked at my own penis with much more of a sense of understanding.

EL BORBAH
I have always liked the idea of detective novels, but when I read them I get bored and usually give up after forty pages. Even the greats like Raymond chandler and Dashiell Hammit bore the hell out of me.
The only detective book I have ever enjoyed is El Borbah, By Charles Burns. It’s about a 400 pound private investigator/ Mexican wrestler. All he eats is junk food and all he drinks is beer. He’s the type of detective a guy like me can relate to!
The city he roams is strange in a way that is hypnotizing. It’s brimming with mad scientist and cyborg hipsters. All needing a good butt kicking by El Borbah.
I read it when I was in high school and I couldn’t get enough. I read it again recently and I was just as blown away. The only problem is that it’s way too short.
Luckily all of Charles burns books are great. Each should be considered a bizarro classic.

SUCKLE
There is no other comic artist out there whose work is as strange as Dave Cooper’s. What I love most about his work is how sexual it is. They are the most over sexualized comics I have ever read. Just looking at them makes you feel a little molested. Just a little though. Enough to want to take a shower after you read it, but not enough to make you feel truly violated.
If you are going to start reading this man’s comics, I would start with SUCKLE. Suckle starts with a vagina-like hole in a desert giving birth to a adolescent boy. The boy then searches through a perverse and dreamlike world looking for a mother figure. It’s a really fun and adorably lecherous tale. It will remind the bizarro reader of Mellicks earlier work like Teethe and Tongue landscape and Razor Wire Pubic Hair.

By Justin Grimbol

I don’t usually buy movies, but recently I found a copy of Cronenberg’s The Brood on VHS for only two dollars. David Cronenberg is one of my favorite directors and I felt I had to get it.
The only problem was that, like most people, I don’t own a VHS player. How was I going to watch this thing? Should I pull out all the tape and study each frame?
I ended up going to a Goodwill buying a small white TV with a VHS player attached. It cost me twenty bucks. This meant that I spent twenty two dollars just to see The Brood. It would have been much cheaper to by the DVD.
Still, I love my new little TV. That night I put it at the end of the bed so my fiancé and I could watch The Brood.
I put the TV at the end of the bed and put the tape in. The TV turned on and the credits came on.
“What’s going on?” Heather asked. “I think it’s broken.
“No, I think it just needs to be rewound,” I said.
I sat up and pressed the rewind button. It had been so long since I heard a VHS tape being rewound. The noise it made was so harsh. The hissing it made scared me a little at first.
It took a couple of minutes till it was at the beginning.
“That was so annoying,” Heather said.
“I kinda liked it,” I said.
I pressed play then lied back down and snuggle up next to my woman.
It had been a long time since I had seen The Brood. I had forgotten how brilliant it is. In my opinion, it’s easily Cronenbergs best film. It’s incredible. Cronenberg can make any aspect of modern life seem creepy. This movie was essentially a mad scientist movie, only the mad scientist is a psychologist. He has developed a form of therapy that enables the patient to express their anger through physical mutations. It gets really nuts. There’s a crazy mom and all these gremlin children running around. It’s the type of movie that makes it hard to blink.
My fiancé loved the movie, but she didn’t seem very scared by it. I, on the other hand, actually considered sleeping with the lights on that night.
I was surprise to find that the movie was actually scarier on VHS. Maybe the crappy quality of VHS made it more spookier visually. Or maybe it reminded me of when I was young; back when VHS was all there was. It was easier to get scared when I was younger. Maybe the movie helped evoke a more whole hearted, more childish sort of fear. Maybe my fiancé didn’t get as scared because she’s so much younger than me. VHS wasn’t as much a part of her past as it was mine.
I don’t know.
Either way, I’m convinced that VHS heightened the horror movie watching experience. I’ve become obsessed. I now have an extensive VHS collection. There’s a place called Strange Maine I like to go to. They have tons of old VHS. I go to there at least once a day, hoping they had some new tapes. Just recently I found a copy of Rosemarie’s Baby. The last time I saw that movie I was thirteen and it had scared the shit out me. “Oh, I can’t wait to take you home with me,” I said to it.
I held it in my hand like it was some haunted artifact. The other customers heard me talking to myself. They looked creeped out by me. I didn’t care. Finding VHS is my new obsession and obsessions are supposed to be a little creepy.

BIZARRO BUCKET LIST

Float around outer space completely nude with a drunk, surly hippy chick.

Marry a Vulcan, have an awful marriage and then cheat one her with a Klingon.

Grow more nipples.

Go back in time and invent new dinosaurs.

Clone Bukowski, but make him a woman. Then get drunk so she doesn’t look so ugly. Once we are wasted… make sweet, sweet love.

Move to a planet made of flesh and tickle the hell out of it.

Get pregnant like Arnold Schwarzenegger in JR. (But make sure to die before giving birth. that shit seems kinda painful).

Get lost in a haunted house where all the ghosts are nymphomaniacs.

Print zero dollar bill and send them to my debt collectors.

Drive a tank made out of gold. NAH NAH NUH NAH.

Travel to center of the sun and cook a steak in it.

Have a sleep over with God, watch some porn, experiment with homosexuality with him(God is male right?)

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